Thursday, January 28, 2016

The Journey of Pete

I'm kindof starting this in the middle of a whirlwind.  But tonight, I'm in a hospital recliner, between my two dads.  On my left is my earthly dad.  My best friend.  My confidante.  My music teacher. My life coach.  My mentor. My hero.  My inspiration. Daddy.  On my right, out the hospital window, my Heavenly Father, who is watching over us so carefully I can feel his breathe on my neck.  So many prayers are being said for my sweet daddy, I can almost hear the many murmurs of them when I close my eyes in the stillness of this hospital room.

"We're at the hospital" mom said.  "Dad's been feeling bad and throwing up today so I brought him over."  I didn't rush, thinking it was maybe a virus or the flu. But made my way over.  What they thought was a bowel obstruction quickly turned to dire news at the site of the cat scan.  Daddy had multiple tumors - lung, adrenal gland, colon and brain.  The next few weeks, several scans and two biopsies later, we learned it was stage four melanoma.  Cyberknife was attempted on the brain tumor and while it seemed to work for a few days, his condition quickly digressed to his current state.  Paralyzed on the left side from the growing monster in his brain, and losing hope each day.

I've prayed so many prayers.

If I rewind to the night before daddy got sick, I had a dream.  A very vivid dream.  The night before all this began, I dreamed I was upstairs in the spare bedroom praying.  It was pitch black, the darkness was consuming. I closed my eyes and knelt, when my skin seemed to vibrate all over, and I felt extremely hot and extremely cold at the same time.  It was a magical feeling; a feeling of extreme love and comfort.  Acceptance and warmth.  I peeked with one eye to see that I was glowing in the dark.  And I felt like it too.  It was the HOly Spirit.  No one said it, I just knew.  And I didn't want it to end.

I awoke from the dream and wanted to go right back to sleep to recapture the sensation.  But, reality hit and I had to get up and go to work.  Little did I know that morning, that the HOly Spirit knew I would need that experience to carry me through the weeks to come.

I'll write more tomorrow.  I'm very tired and dad is sleeping.  Two more hours, the nurse will come in to turn him again, so I better sleep while I can.

Tucking in.

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